xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
As I welcome the month of November..... as in... As I WELCOME with OPEN arms the fact that the humidity in Dubai has left 90% and the heat in Dubai dropped below 45 degrees, I congratulate myself.
I believe I have proven to myself that WHERE you are , location-wise and country-wise, affects your personality.
Location-wise and country-wise affects your personality!
Location-wise and country-wise affects your personality!
Location-wise and country-wise affects your personality!
I am now, TODAY, November 2, starting to smile again!
- Is that normal?
- Is that how I am supposed to be?
- WAITING for the weather?
- DREADING 5 months of my life?
- WISHING I could disappear for 5 months? Wishing to take another 5-months unpaid leave in order to live my life?
As I happily turn the page over, and open a completely different (more Lina-oriented) page, I think I owe it to myself.
I need to sit down and relive what I have been through ; and how I lived from June 1 until October 31.
I am just doing this because I need to stand grounded regarding this topic (that has, obviously, been the centre of my thoughts) ; and I need to find peace with it.
- Waking up, was always a battle for me. Just the search for this looooong breath that would eventually guide me throughout my day.
- Searching for a smile, an inner smile.... I looked DEEEEP inside me, looking for any positive energy, a smiling force, that would KEEP me going.
- The smallest action like 'getting dressed' needed an 'Action Plan' , whereby I needed to think of the sweating and the sticking and the making sure that your pants aren't too tight and stop my blood circulation.
- The natural action of 'walking' required a 'Action Plan' as well, whereby I needed to think of many many shortcuts and ways to walk THE LEAST.
- The transportation factor of 'driving a car' also needed a 'Preparation Plan', whereby i needed to accept that my AC would take enough time to actually COOl, otherwise I am stuck in a box of HEAT with clothes pressing against my body and ONE thought WHY AM I HERE AGAIN?!
- Leisure times, meaning activities post-work, required RUSHING to a 5-star Hotel's Swimming Pool because its actually cooled; or staying IN (of course), or TRAVELING (double of course) ..... Therefore you end up spending so much more money!
- And last but not least, the 'waiting' , the 'counting down' , the 'planning for the winter', the ' i wish i could do this, but not now! '.
Again, please let me emphasize that this is SO PERSONAL.
I am CERTAIN, I have now made peace with the thought that I DO NOT BELONG HERE.
I say that, and I say it WITH A SMILE.
Dubai has done its duty with me, it has served me right, and I am appreciative of this fact. I have lived here 24 years. And I do not want to over-abuse my relationship with it.
The time has come to MOVE ON.
Gracefully, and Peacefully, and Smiling-fully.
Lina je t'aime. And I am smiling with you :)
ReplyDeleteMay you find what you are looking for wherever your heart will say: "Ok stop, this is it".
ReplyDeleteObviously in a place like Dubai (or in my case Abu Dhabi), it's hard to keep a smile that is not superficial/fake!
Enjoy le beau temps! (it's cooling down a lot here in Chiang Mai too haha, love it).
eh khallas ba2a!!! but until then, make the most of the beach, yoga, friends and family :)
ReplyDeleteun beso.
Sounds like what I go through with winter here and how I smile when spring time comes :)
ReplyDeletePersonal indeed, but very easy to relate to as well.
Did I tell you how much I love you? <3