Tuesday, November 2, 2010

November -- Movember


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As I welcome the month of November..... as in... As I WELCOME with OPEN arms the fact that the humidity in Dubai has left 90% and the heat in Dubai dropped below 45 degrees, I congratulate myself.


I believe I have proven to myself that WHERE you are , location-wise and country-wise, affects your personality.


Location-wise and country-wise affects your personality!
Location-wise and country-wise affects your personality!
Location-wise and country-wise affects your personality!


I am now, TODAY, November 2, starting to smile again!

- Is that normal?

- Is that how I am supposed to be?

- WAITING for the weather?
- DREADING 5 months of my life?
- WISHING I could disappear for 5 months? Wishing to take another 5-months unpaid leave in order to live my life?


As I happily turn the page over, and open a completely different (more Lina-oriented) page, I think I owe it to myself.
I need to sit down and relive what I have been through ; and how I lived from June 1 until October 31.

*** Please note that this is something extremely personal, What applies to me may NOT apply to you.
I am just doing this because I need to stand grounded regarding this topic (that has, obviously, been the centre of my thoughts) ; and I need to find peace with it.

- Waking up, was always a battle for me. Just the search for this looooong breath that would eventually guide me throughout my day.

- Searching for a smile, an inner smile.... I looked DEEEEP inside me, looking for any positive energy, a smiling force, that would KEEP me going.

- The smallest action like 'getting dressed' needed an 'Action Plan' , whereby I needed to think of the sweating and the sticking and the making sure that your pants aren't too tight and stop my blood circulation.

- The natural action of 'walking' required a 'Action Plan' as well, whereby I needed to think of many many shortcuts and ways to walk THE LEAST.

- The transportation factor of 'driving a car' also needed a 'Preparation Plan', whereby i needed to accept that my AC would take enough time to actually COOl, otherwise I am stuck in a box of HEAT with clothes pressing against my body and ONE thought WHY AM I HERE AGAIN?!

- Leisure times, meaning activities post-work, required RUSHING to a 5-star Hotel's Swimming Pool because its actually cooled; or staying IN (of course), or TRAVELING (double of course) ..... Therefore you end up spending so much more money!

- And last but not least, the 'waiting' , the 'counting down' , the 'planning for the winter', the ' i wish i could do this, but not now! '.

Again, please let me emphasize that this is SO PERSONAL.

I am CERTAIN, I have now made peace with the thought that I DO NOT BELONG HERE.

I say that, and I say it WITH A SMILE.

Dubai has done its duty with me, it has served me right, and I am appreciative of this fact. I have lived here 24 years. And I do not want to over-abuse my relationship with it.

The time has come to MOVE ON.

Gracefully, and Peacefully, and Smiling-fully.




xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

4 comments:

  1. Lina je t'aime. And I am smiling with you :)

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  2. May you find what you are looking for wherever your heart will say: "Ok stop, this is it".
    Obviously in a place like Dubai (or in my case Abu Dhabi), it's hard to keep a smile that is not superficial/fake!

    Enjoy le beau temps! (it's cooling down a lot here in Chiang Mai too haha, love it).

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  3. eh khallas ba2a!!! but until then, make the most of the beach, yoga, friends and family :)
    un beso.

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  4. Sounds like what I go through with winter here and how I smile when spring time comes :)
    Personal indeed, but very easy to relate to as well.
    Did I tell you how much I love you? <3

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